The Big Decision

I have already sent this news to everyone in the family....and I have told my closest friends in the LW and the BP area....but I feel I need to write about this.
It is therapy for me.

Man, I can remember all the vacation trips we have taken over the years, and I always kept a written diary of them. I often wondered why. But it was fun.

Now I look back over those diaries and I can laugh. Everyone that reads them laughs with me.

I can always tell when I was on a diet or into an exercise mode, or whatever was happening in our lives at that time. I have it all written down.

I never really thought anyone else would have any interest in the rambling thoughts I had, but now I realize that even in such a crazy thing as writing about a trip, my family (now they read them from time to time) and the family that comes after them, will know a little about what Irene was like.....what dad was like....and the funny things that happened in our lives.

I'm glad I wrote them,

I think back to when dad was so sick. I kept a diary the whole time it was happening. I kept notes on his doctor's visits and what we learned each time..even to what his temperature was on that day. I kept track of his visits to the hospital and a record of his meds and even his meals and how much he ate each day. It helped the hospice nurse and I felt like I was doing everything I could to make it easier for both of us to work together. Dad knew how much I cared.


I wrote in the diary every night during his illness, after he went to bed, and I was alone, with my thoughts, my fears, my sadness, and with my Lord.

The writing gave me such a release that I did not know it was doing.
And, everytime I closed it for that episode on paper, not realizing it, I signed it...thank you, Lord, amen.

I had not realized I was writing my prayers down.

Now I am doing it again. Only this time it is on the computer. Saves a lot of time instead of writing it on paper and it can be read by any family member that wants to know what is happening now in my heart and in my life...what the Lord is leading me through now. How He is working in my life to bring about the plans He has for me.

In fact, I see only one set of footprints in the sand right now. He is good.

I put my house on the real estate market yesterday. I signed the papers that will enable someone else to buy this gift that my husband bought me, where we shared memories, where we lived together and where we argued (we were normal), where we shared good news and bad news, and where we loved each other very much.

I know he would want me to do this....to put it up for sale.

In fact, when we left db to go vb, he suggested I go to all the neighbors and tell them the price we were asking and tell them we would go 5000 cheaper if they bought it from us before we connected with a realtor. One lady told us she had just purchased a house for her daughter nearby and wished she had gotten mine instead.
after we got the realtor, she bought it and then wanted us to go down the same 5 anyway, and we did, so that we could make the move.

So, if he were here in bp, he would probably have me do that again. wasn't he a hoot? I just think that he thought there was not anything that he asked me to do that I could not do. He had so much confidence in me, I know that now, but I always had the impression that I was always being trained, ha ha...maybe he was just "guiding me" and that is what a husband should do.

Anyway, the house is up for sale. Signed the papers yesterday and got a phone call last night from the neighbor next door up there...they said a sign was already stuck on the lawn. I think the realtor that is handling it is excited about the property.
Whoever gets it will have a wonderful place.

When we bought that house, a Christian family sold it to us...we talked about Jesus alot while we had our dealings.

Now I am praying that a Christian will buy it....one with a family...or the planning of one....someone that will use the house for the togetherness of fellow christians...that God will thrive there....that they will be good neighbors and that they will be received as good neighbors.

The Lord has been with me so much since dad went away, that I know God is in this too.

When I called two of the strongest christian men in my life to suggest a realtor to me, both said, unbeknownst to each other, the same woman, and she lives on the street next to me...and she's a christian.

This is not an easy decision. It is tearing at my heart. But when I go back to bp now, the house seems empty and big...and I am getting involved in lp.
I am meeting many new people..and getting into new things and activities. I am so lovingly accepted, that I know God is still working on me and with me, and leading me down here.

So I am asking for your prayers for this to go smoothly and for my strength to do the necessary things I need to do...to get rid of many of my belongings and to know who to give them to. God has blessed me and I certainly can't"outbless" Him, but that is what He expects me to do with those things...to give them as He gave them to me.

After all, nothing is mine anyway. It all belongs to God and He is just letting me use it. Thank you Lord for your generosity and love.

The

family ties

When I titled this post, I did not mean the ties that men wear. Isn't that silly??
I meant the ties that tie the family together. Not string ties, but emotional ties. the kind that can never, thankfully, broken...because in family ties, we are tied together forever....even when we don't want to be.
That is not the case with me...I very much wanted to be tied to my relatives and family members...my immediate family and my husband's family. they are all equally important and dear to me.
But when you are a widow. you question whether or not his family still loves you even though he is gone.
I know it is crazy to think that way, but, as a widow, you think differently about alot of things that you took so calmly and for granted before that happened.
I also had a problem getting my courage up so that I could be with his family because his brother has so many mannerisms,etc, like my husband had...I had to become strong enough to be around them for a longer time.
I did it. Another milestone in facing fears and terrors...no matter how small or big they tend to be.
I was with his family and they treated me like they always did. there were not rough or tough minutes. there was nothing said that made me sad. there was no feeling that I was not that cherished member of his family that I had always felt before.
I feel as though I have had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders ....and I guess I did...the weight that I had put there.
But now it is gone...and I am thankful for the love that has always been there.
I am thankful for the talks that we had a chance to have...the help that I received from all of them...just everything, in general, that I am secure in his family...that they are still mine...I need them so very much.
I praise God for everyone of them. Thank you, Lord.

Family

Family

Family

Family

Family

Family

Here I am, trying to get this blog done.
You probably won't believe it but this is the second one I did today. I could not believe what happened. I had done the complete blog and then, lo and behold, I accidentally hit that key...the one that sends everything to someplace mysterious in the outer limits of space...and it was gone. I tried everything I could think of..of course, you realize that for me, that is limited in regards to knowing alot about computers and what they mysteriously do....but I could never retrieve it, so here I am, writing another blog. let's hope this one gets done and into the file. ha ha
I am enjoying lp more and more. I have been here almost three weeks. that is a long time for me.
Except to go to bp to get my mail once a week, have coffee with my mcd group, check on my friend d, and this week, I had lunch with two old friends of mine...p and s...they were happy to see me and we had a good time.
They could not wait to tell me that my old church in fp had a new pastor. They knew I would love him when I heard him.
I told them that I would not be back to that church.
I told them I was very happy and comfortable with the church in lp.
I have joined the choir, am involved in a bible study class and am very surprised at the involvement of the congregation there. The pastor is very learned in the bible. They were unhappy that I would not be back and they felt they would be losing me as a friend.
I told them we could take turns coming to see each other. S told me it was too far. She said it would be easier for me to come there since I was only one person and they would be four. I told her I could not see what that had to do with it, so I suggested then that we meet halfway..in S,,,and she said that was not halfway.
So I wonder if God was showing me in another way that it is time to leave and move down here. I truly wondered if she ...s..was my friend or if I was a friend of convenience. Anyway, that's how that goes.
My friend M invited me to an art class the other day. I said I did not know how to paint and did not want to invest money in something I was not sure I was capable of. She said to bring my crochet and I could visit with the ladies while they painted and I did my thing.
When I walked in, the teacher did not even ask me if I wanted to try it...she just handed me a tile...like those holding a glass or whatever...showed me the paints and gave me a brush. It was a stencil so I just filled it in.
Then she gave me a lunch size plate, a picture of a rose, showed me two strokes and said ...go ahead and try.. I did and I could not believe it, but it looked like a rose. I was so excited.
I have always wanted to try painted but was afraid to invest money in materials when I did not know if I could do it. I can. wow!
I pay for the class and for the first four sessions, I can use the materials for free, then I pay just $60 for a setup of materials.
Sounds like fun to me.
I had to laugh at myself because on the way out, I spied a beautiful vase that had been painted and I told my friend M that I wanted to do that by next christmas for my daughterinlaw. Isn't that a hoot????
Saturday, I am going to bp and bring my regular computer down here. Have already called a guy to set it up for me on monday.
Have gotten a girl to clean for me here.
Have gotten a man to spray inside monthly for prevention of bugs her in lp,
Sounds like I am almost here to stay, doesn't it?
By the way, got an invitation in the mail to attend, actually it was to my hubby, a 50th anniversary of the first Publix to be opened in south florida. it is on november 10th in lighthouse pt.
I accepted, because, of course, I worked there too. can't believe it has been 50 years since dad and I helped to do that. It is a dear memory. And it certainly made publix what it is today.
That was store number 46 and now they have over 1000. unbelieveable, isn't it?
can't wait to see some of my old bosses and my old friends.
will be sure to take lots of pictures and write you all about it.
well, guess I better go for now. this is getting too long. ha ha
love.....

I did it!!!

Well, I don't know what is going to happen...but I went and talked to one of my personal friends...the banker that found this house in bp for us....and asked him to find a buyer for me. He is not a realtor but he is a good friend.

Don't know what God has in sind for this, but I am leaving it up to the Lord...He is the one who found us this one, so He can do it again.

Will keep you posted. Need prayers.

Decisions to Make

It has been awhile since I did a blog on here. Too long.
I have missed it but so much as been happening that I have really not had much free time to write.

I have been going between the two places I have.....lp and bp....and it has been wearing me out. Takes alot of energy. Trying to keep up with two places. To keep them in shape. I feel very pushy when I have to request to get things done, but I am the only one there is to take care of it, so I do it.


When I come back to bp each time, I walk in and think...this house is too big for me...it is ridiculous to have all this room for only me..and the pet, of course.
I have lots of friends and family over for meals but I think I am doing that to fill the house...I never did it for that reason before.

I know my husband would say to move on. He would want me to be closer to the family...or at least the part of them that I can.

I attend to the things at lp....and, I relax and think, okay, that's done, now I can go back to bp and relax for awhile. Then I get to bp and something there has to be fixed and repaired. It is too much.

I am about ready to move permanently to lp.

I am doing well in lp...I have a wonderful Christian friend..also a widow...living across the street from me...and she and I are always doing something or going somewhere together. She is a Godgift to me. We get along very nicely.

The church in lp is wonderful and it is coming at a time when my church in fp is having problems being between pastors. That may be a sign from my Jesus for me to move to lp.

I keep looking for signs...isn't that crazy??? It is so evident that He wants me there...He has made it so obvious to me....I know that...the price of the house, the friends I have made, the church and the warmness of the people there...the attitude of the people in that town...there is just no way that God has not shown me that I should move.

But it is still difficult.

My husband bought this house for me.....it's like I am leaving a piece of him behind...and I know that's not true. He will alwsys be completely with me...all of him. But it is difficult.

I thought of living in lp for three months, having the mail forwarded, etc. And that is probably what I will do.

But I need to do it. I need to make that next step....and then stick with it.

My family in lp has been wonderful. They have found me a sunday school class to attend, they have taken me to church on wednesday and introduced me to everyone, they have found me a "job" that I can voluteer at in the church...everyone is praying about it. What more could anyone ask? I feel so loved and respected.

But it is still difficult.

So I am still thinking about it,still praying, still listening to others, to my heart, and most of all to my Lord.

I will know when it is time....and God will guide me and give me strength and wisdom to make the move.

P.S.
I think putting it all down on paper has made it even clearer to me...what I must do.
Make the move.

This Changing World

Just sitting here thinking how much the world is changing.

When I was a young girl in school in a small southern town, we did not dare do some of the things that are being taken as "ordinary" nowadays.

Even in high school, we were not allowed to wear jeans to school... we wore only skirts, blouses, dresses...no high heels..no pedalpushers (as capri pants were called in those days), certainly no shorts.
would you believe that when we had our class of physical education every day, we even had to wear a bloomer-type of gym uniform or we got our grades cut. Weall hated them, of course, but we did not question it. It was a rule to do it.

We did not even think of drinking or smoking, even on our prom night,when we all felt we were "of age".

We were told by our parents whom to hang around with and whom to avoid....to keep our reputation pure and clean above everything else. Parents were very strict and we accepted it. I hated it then, but did it anyway. Now I am glad that I did. We needed guidance and that is what parents and teachers are supposed to do.

We did not even own a car, so when we went to the movies or anywhere around town, we walked...and if, when coming home from the movies with a date, we held hands, our family knew about it before we got home. We were not allowed to sit in front of the house if our date had a car...we had to come in as soon as it was parked. I felt my parents were so very strict, but everyone else's were like that too, and we did not question it or sass them back about it.

It just was not done.

We were never allowed to cuss. We went to church every sunday because we were told to go and because that was where all our friends were. We went to the youth fellowship every sunday evening after church..it was usually at the preacher's house...and sang fun christian songs and had cookies and punch. Life was simple and it was good. We did not feel we were deprived of anything. We had our school friends and our rules and we lived by them or got punished for it.

Now I look at the youth and I know they have so many benefits and advantages...such speedy internet...such wonderful cell phones, and all those conveniences...but I feel bad that they are missing so much of life.

They would laugh at me for saying that. I know that. But they can not know what they missed by missing my era without having lived in it and having done it.

A simpler time. A time without profanity and so much sex on the tv and radio. A time when you had time to enjoy life and had time to think. A time when companies advertizing their products did so with clean thoughts to encourage the sale of the product.

I must say, though, that I give lots of praise and loads of credit to the parents today. They have done a wonderful job of raising the children. I know it is all a different time and a diffent kind of rules, etc, but they are turning out to be something that even the "old adults" can admire.

I guess, as I sit here thinking about all this, and about the changes that have come about....that my parents and their parents before them....said the same things and thought the same thoughts that I have had. How can those young people do it? And, yet, as I look around, they are turning out beautifully and I love to watch them as they mature and "grow up".

It is just a changing world, isn't it? And we should all face it with an open heart, open mind, and open arms to welcome it. God is still in control.
























w

It's Good to be Retired

Man! It is good to have all this free time to do what I want to do. Of course, it would be even better if I still had my husband, but I am growing accustomed to that.
Anyway, I really don't know how I used to have time to work when I had that short career of mine...ha ha.

Today I went to McDonald's and had coffee with a bunch of friends. Fairly new ones. And they are precious. We are all about the same age...all retired..some widows and widowers...some volunteer at the hospital...some just like to visit and talk with each other...but they are all supernice people. I have been blessed to be accepted by them.

The funny thing is that every time I meet a new person (at least I think he or she is new) and introduce myself, I find we have so many acquaintances in common that it shows me again what a small world it really is.

Today I met a lady who goes to the church that my husband and I got married in ...and she remembered my inlaws. She knows and loves one of my best friends who plays piano for the church once in awhile. Wow! It makes me braver to speak to everyone I know. What fun it is to meet people and make friends!

I am having the ladies from our McD group over to my house next month. Am looking forward to it. I think I will serve a pretty salad plate to each one with arranged salads on them...tuna salad, chicken salad, and ham salad....sliced cukes, tomatoes, and olives, and deviled eggs...I told them they could bring the crackers and breads. Sounds like fun. Guess I will have to think of a card game that we can play or whatever.
Open for suggestions.

Anyway, just wanted to journal this new day on the blog and let everyone know how wonderful it is to be alive, healthy, and to know my Jesus loves me and is watching over me. See you.

Family, Fun, and Laughter

Yesterday evening I had a group of family members...and friends...over for dinner. There were fourteen of us and it was fun.

One family couple was visiting from georgia and it was so good to see them.
For some reason, you expect people to change in some way when they move to a different area. Crazy, isn't it? If anything, it makes us a more openminded person because we are more conscious of things, happenings, and people around us...and we learn from them all. It makes everyone more dear to us when we see them on their visits.

When they lived in town here, we saw them regularly, but it is not same thing when they return to our area. They become more important, more precious. Isn't it wonderful how we can pick up a conversation that we seemed to be having when they moved away...it seems not a word or thought was missed. It's a wonderful thing to be with family and friends so dear to us.

There is another family couple that have a part time home in north carolina and they were at the dinner but left this morning to go back for a few weeks. We will miss them but thanks to the computer and the cell phone, we keep in touch with them, perhaps more than we did when they were in town. They are dear people and I love them deeply.
I must say here that the woman in this couple is my motivator...she introduces to new friends in the area and gets me involved in good Christian projects. I am thankful for her and her help in these matters.

One of the family couples lives just 15 miles or so down the road. They are here all year long as is the other couple that lives just 2 miles from me. What would I do without these dear, dear family members? They have seen me through some sad and difficult times in the last few years, as has the whole family. It is good to have someone so close.

We always have such a good time when we get together. I have never, or very seldom, heard of, or met a family like this one that I was blessed to marry into. We always eat when we get together, that's a must, and it is just so much fun to be crazy and laugh....at anything...with this wonderful family group.

I praise the Lord every day for blessing me with them.

Family

A Trip to Yesterdays

I went to see my sister in another town yesterday. I took a dear friend of mine along. The friend is one I have had since the fourth grade in school, so we know each other very well and still love each other, even after all this time.

Anyway, back to the trip.

It was almost 80 miles to her house and the traffic was so very slow. I guess everyone is really conscious of the tickets that the police seem to be giving out so readily nowadays. It seemed like it took forever to get there.


When we walked in the door, it was so wonderful to be lovingly greeted and hugged so warmly by both my brother in law and my sister. Bless her heart! She smiles all the time and B said that she is happy all the time. She sleeps alot. And, of course, he has to keep up with her meds, etc. but all is going well. I know it is difficult for him to care for her, not the "caring" part, but the part where she doesn't remember like she used to and does not hold conversations anymore. It is sad, but B is taking it all in stride and in a few weeks, they will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. Their four children surprised them around Mother's Day, did not tell the parents they were coming for a visit, and when B and my sister went outside to get the morning paper, they came back into the house and saw all their kids and their spouses sitting in the living room. Wasn't that wonderful??

My sister has dementia.... I hsve been thinking about this...and I have always heard that those people having this problem remember the PAST and those were the good years for them. Of course, they have ALL been good, I know that, but the first years of marriage are always the ones we remininsce about so often...when we did not have much more than each other....when eating out meant to cook hamburgers in the back yard, that sort of thing...but precious memories, all of them, even the truly hard times.

B was starting a project. He had five huge packing crates of family pictures and he was beginning to go through them and make separate piles for each member of the family. He had one started for me. I brought them home with me.
Then he pulled out an album and we talked and shared memories while we looked at pictures of my siblings, so long ago, and of my parents.

I had not looked at a picture of my parents in a while, and it truly shocked me when I saw my mom. I could not believe how much I look like her...the hair, the body...so much that it is amazing. So I am framing a picture of my mom and dad, and putting it on a table.

I know that everyone that sees it will say how much I look like her. To me that is a blessing. I lost my mom so early in life but I still miss her so much...so often wonder what she would think of her "baby girl" now. I hope she would be proud.

Somehow, it makes me feel more loved...to feel closer to her....to remember how much she loved me, eventhough I was only seven years old when she died, I still can remember her so well, even though there are not many memories, they are all precious to me.

So the trip yesterday was well worth it. To see my sis, whom I don't know how much longer she will remember me, to see the love that her husband shows to her and the tender care he gives her, to share the family memories, and to have had time with one of my best friends.

It was wonderful, it was all worth the time it took, and it is another bunch of memories that I will reminence over some day.

When they vowed "for better or worse, sickness or health", they meant it. Bless their hearts! Truly makes me appreciate them even more. I would ask everyone to add them to your prayer lists. thank you.

Promises

I just returned from having dinner with a friend of mine. It was nice to be with her. It had been almost a month since we had had the time to get together. She's a special friend.

As I was driving home, I looked up at the sky ahead of me and saw a beautiful rainbow.

It has been a long time since I have seen one. I am sure they have been there because we have been having good rainfalls lately. I think I just am not observant enough and miss many things that I should be seeing.

The first thought that popped into my head when I saw the rainbow was God's promises.

I know He promised not to destroy the earth with rain again but that was not really the promise I was thinking about. It was all the other promises He made to us.

Of course, my favorite one, and you all know this, is that He will never leave us and the other favorite one is that He will never allow anything to happen in our lives that He does not give the strength and grace to endure and the wisdom to handle.

Man! When my husband was sick with cancer, I really used that second promise and relied on it so very much.

I prayed it every morning before going in to check on him and begin the new day...the new day with cancer...the new day with such a positive thinking husband that he always made me feel ashamed for ever even THINKING negative. It takes alot of faith in the Lord to be the way my husband was. He knew God's promises and he recited them constantly. He knew His Lord was keeping them with him.

And every day I saw and felt the Lord keeping those promises with me...to never leave me and to provide the strength for anything that happens. I am not a "nurse" type person and I never would have been able to handle the things that happen if it had not been for the special strength, patience, wisdom, and love that God supplied.

I never dreamed how much I would continue to rely on those promises after my husband died. I still know the love and the protection, the wisdom and the patience, the guidance and the knowledge that He gives me each day....and the comfort that I am not alone, no matter what happens with friends or family....He is always holding me in His arms in a tight, warm "bear" hug. I feel his presence and his strength all the time

And the people He brings into my life...the new friends, the old friends, people from everywhere that He blesses me with. That is part of that "He will never leave me alone" verse. And He hasn't...and He doesn't...and He won't. I can rely on that promise.

I can relax and rely on Him...and His promises...and His love. Thank you, Lord.

Now I must be sure to keep my promises to Him that I make. Lord, teach me more.

Changes

I seem to be talking often about changes, don't I? But we all make changes. Sometime the changes are so minute that they are not noticed for a little while...for instance, shorter patience, more laziness, less interest in things happening around us...seems these are all negatives, but there are positives too. For instance, more time taken to do your private bible readings (just because you are eager to read and learn more), more awareof exercising and of your healthy eating, more aware of the needs of the people around you...not just material needs but the listening when special love is needed.

Sometime we get so involved and so busy with our lives, that those things are overlooked.

I have been staying around my house more this week. I have been doing little things here...like rearranging furniture, cleaning nooks and crannies, visiting with friends, and being there when needed. It has been a good week. I did not realize how busy I had become until I took this week to think back and to slow down. We all have to do that from time to time, don't we?

To slow down, look around, and to take notice of what's going on in your life. To stop and smell the roses. To take stock of all the blessings that God has given you...that, of course, is impossible. How could we ever recall and remember all the blessings He has given us? I find, though, that when I think and recollect, I becomse more aware of others that I can help in some small way. It makes me feel wonderful to be used by God to do these things, but it makes me ashamed that I was not aware of them before this.

In these times, we need to be more aware of the changes around us....of how we can help the Lord...isn't that funny? ....help the Lord....He does not need our help but I am glad He gives me things to do...for Him.

I like changes. Some of them are difficult to handle and some are so amazingly simple that you smile through the complete time it is taking place.
But even when the difficult changes appear, I praise the Lord, because I know He is going to give me strength and wisdom to see me through it, that I will grow stronger by learning this new "thing", and that He will never leave me alone...not in the difficult changes or in the easy ones. Isn't He wonderful!!!!

So I guess that this blog is just to share what is happening right now and what I am learning day by day...that I am loved so much by my Lord. I feel so secure in His arms. I hope you take time to realize the same feeling in your life. Love.

A New Week

Well, here it is ....Monday again. Another new week to get the things done that I told myself I would do last week...or part of them, anyway...and did not get done. So this new week gives me another chance to try.
That's me...trying all the time...and sometime succeeding. That's when I celebrate. ha ha.
It does not take much to make me feel elated...just to know that I am doing something constructive and on my "to do" list...a thing accomplished.

Yesterday was our pastor's last sunday. wow! There were so many people there. he preached so wonderfully. Even the music sounded better. they will certainly be missed, that is for sure. After all, they had been there for 12 years and had planned to stay for only three. He was a "church starter".

I never will forget how I first met them.
My husband was on the committee to find a new pastor for another church we were in at that time, and this pastor had been interviewed, etc. The committee really prayed for him to come but it was not to be.
I am told that my husband used to sit outside their house and pray for them to make the change and to discuss it with them many times, but to no avail. I did not find that out until just a few months ago.
And now I was part of their congregation. God is still in control, isn't He? God wanted me to be sure to haveis preacher teach me. God always has a plan.

Have started cleaning "corners" of my house today.
Why? Oh, WHY? Do we collect so many things...and KEEP so many things....thinking we will use them again? I have found some things that I did not even remember having. It seems wonderful to think of "clean corners". ha ha

And when we do "clean", how many times do we say....I am never going to let this happen again????? Bet you all have done it too. ha ha

I am still praying about my permanent move to lp. Now that my church here is between pastors, maybe that is God telling me to go. I don't know. Help me pray about that, please. Let me know what you feel God is telling you to tell me.

I do know that I am trying to go down to lp more often...to get used to being there...and I am not having a problem with it...but a move is so definite....so, to say, closing an era of my life...the era that was with my husband.

I say over and over again, it is not because of him and the feeling of his being in this house that keeps me here, but who am I kidding????

HE bought this house for ME Even though he was not in it very long, he WAS in it.
It tears my heart apart to think of leaving it. Of leaving his presence...and I know I am not "leaving his presence" but this is as close as I can get ...being here in this house...to being with him.

The memories of him, the hugs, the chores together, the walking around this area together, the love that we shared here,,,it is very difficult. I now I have to move on.

I am doing it in so many areas. I am becoming stronger every day. I am venturing out in new things and new ideas all the time.

But I can't get rid of thinking about him.

I can't turn myself loose to think about even going to dinner or lunch with a man and being on a "friendly" date. That is not really a problem...I don't need anyone to date, but I am not "footloose and fancy free" in my heart, even tho I am a widow.

Dad is just too much a part of me. He will always be.

I sometime wonder how he would have been if I had died and he was without me.
I am sure he would have been doing lots of missions, hounding and bothering his family and his kids with "helpfulness", and would have, for sure, had females chasing him and bringing him food. ha ha.
Seems funny to even think about that. But he would have gone on, I know.

I know, if he could speak to me now, he would tell me how proud of me he is for the many ways I have changed and the things I have learned to do on my own.

And I know he would say to me, in regards to this matter of moving and of a completely different life, JUST SUCK IT UP.

YES, HE WOULD DO THAT, WOULDN'T HE? ha ha.
So, I will continue to try.

Life is Exciting, isn' it?

I can not believe how much my life has changed in the last few months! All of it is good. It's just so different.

I guess it started when my sweet kids convinced me to buy the townhome. It all kind of escalated from there.

Increase of friends ( truly sent from God), projects to get my house and the townhome both better prepared for living in them, more homey atmosphere, more visiting with daughter and her family, more traveling back and forth, more prayers as to what to do concerning moving (that still is up in the air), just so many things happening. Keeping me so very busy.

Then, of course, walking in my first 5K and the thrill of that.

Having the opportunity to cook more for family in lp...wish the other part of my family was closer to be able to do that for them.

Just so many blessings. So many wonderful things happening. I get so tired when I do so much and then I sleep so well and I am ready to face another adventure.

I know this is where God wants me right now. I feel His presence guiding me, blessing me, protecting me, and bringing me along in His plan, and in His time. I am excited to see what happens next.

Walk with Jesus.

Life Goes On

Wow! I am learning so many new things!
For one thing, when I type a new post on a laptop and all of a sudden the whole thing disappears, where does it go????
And then when you wait a day and type one again, and the same thing happens, is it telling you somethin??? like, maybe, forget it and give it up??
But I am a stubborn ole cuss, so here I am again. Someone please let me know that all this is worth it and that someone is reading these blogs besides me. Please...
I just got back from lp and I had a wonderful time down there.
I had the chance to cook for two of my grandkids and they brought friends..which was alright with me...they asked in advance..which I thought was very nice of them. I did warn them to do that because I was frying chicken and I wanted to be sure to have enough for everyone...and I did. I am looking forward to more meals with them, that is for sure...I hope, I hope.
Then I had a chance too to cook for my daughter's birthday...late though it was. I made her favorite casserole. And it was kind of tricky. I have almost forgotten how to cook some of these dishes that used to be done all the time. I don't think I have cooked that particular recipe in 30 years. Can't imagine how she remembers what it even tasted like...she was so young then. Precious.
I am in the process of exchanging some of my furniture in my one home with some of the furniture in my 2nd home...just so that they will both feel comfortable to me. I did some of that today...and it worked out beautifully...very pleased with it. I even took some books and precious moments with me and they look great too. It is coming right along.
I am becoming more familiar with people at the church and I am sure I will soon be attending sunday services down there more than I have in the past.
Life is everchanging, isn't it? And I am glad for that because otherwise we would all get into a rut...and that is no good. I believe God wants us to live each day to the fullest with His guidance and always sharing Him and what He gives us to share...whether it is words, love, understanding, kindnesses, or monetary things to those who need them.
I have been blessed with a new handyman. I found him through the church that my daughter attends. He is a new Christian. He has a wife (she has a job) and four children, but he is temporarily out of work. I am keeping him busy and he is truly a blessing from God. He told me they had been praying for some way for him to bring in a little money and then the next day I called him. He is honest and personable. I have also found him a job with another person when he finishes my list.
However, he did put me to shame the other day....or, should I say, he opened my eyes?
I had purposely purchased too many groceries and I asked him to take some to his house. ..slyly of course, so as not to embarrass him...and he said...oh, this is great. our church is gathering food for the needy and I will put it in there.
Man! My mouth almost fell open. I was ashamed that I had not bought some for him and for the church. He had so little...no job and all...and he was giving to the needy. Isn't that an eye-opener?? It surely worked for me. Has made me want to be more aware of where I can give more to those who need it. Life goes on, and there are always people sent to you to help you learn again how wonderful God is and how He plans for you to do His will. Walk with God.

WHAT WOMEN NEED

I went to the doctor today and she weighed me and found that I had lost another 4.2 pounds. That was wonderful news to me.
The last time I had been to her was the week after my european trip and I had gained because I was retaining too much water.
It made me want to get rid of the fluid and to try harder on the food plan, but then I had company, and some of those other "good" reasons we give outselves to cheat, and I had been putting off the "day of reckoning". But I had to do it.
Then when I heard the good news, I let my daughter in law know, who is also trying, successfully I might add, to beat this body problem.
And she gave me alot of encouragement.
That's when I decided what this blog would be about today...encouragement.
That's what women need. And men too, of course.
But now that I am a widow and live alone, I don't hear those compliments and kind thoughtful things that my husband used to say to me.
My family compliments me, but it is not the same. I have to get used to that, though, because I know they mean it. I know they love me and are proud of me, of the stronger woman I have become.
I am just selfish enough to need wonderful, encouraging, bragging remarks from time to time. I need to know that someone is noticing my accomplishments. I need extra hugs. I need comments on something simple that I have done that really is not spectacular enough to make a big fuss over, but someone does anyway. That's what makes me feel loved and appreciated.
I miss this part of life. .. Not having comments from my husband. I am getting used to it but right now, when I am trying a whole new thing in my life, I need it badly. Isn't that crazy??? To be a grown woman, and still need that attention. But I guess that tells me that no matter what age we are, we need love and encouragement constantly.
Thank you for letting me learn to be stronger but thank you for the connection we all have with each other...the encouragement we all receive.

What's happening????

It has been awhile since I wrote anything and I have missed it.
There's not much happening here right now....have just been a little bit lazy.
My friend was here for a week with me and I think it fagged me out to go so much with her, but I HAD to show her everything I could during her visit.
Then I spent a week in my "other house" and that kept me busy and going every day. Had some shelves put into the closet and other things. That kind of stuff wears me out for no reason at all.
Then my Thomas got a scratch and it got infected and he had to go to the vet.
Lordy, Lordy, things just pile up, don't they?
Had my preacher and his wife over for dinner on Sunday and that was fun! I am going to miss them when they move away in august. They have become dear friends.
My friend had slipped and hurt her hip, so she was in the nursing home for a month or so and I was helping her as much as I could. Took her snacks and visited.
Then when she came home, cooked some meals and took them to her.
Thank goodness, she is getting better and is almost her old self again. She is 84 and is taking awhile to heal. But she is stubborn and tough and she will recover nicely.
Went to the dermotologist yesterday and had some skin tags removed. Man, did that hurt! Still feeling the pain some but it's better. The doctor said this is inherited. Sorry, kids. I don't like them either. But now I can honestly say it is not caused "by age". ha ha
Today I am packing some books, some dishes, and some Precious Moments to take to my "other place". Need to get myself thinking about that place becoming my home somewhere in the future and stop putting it off. When I mention this to friends here, tho, they don't like the idea of my thinking that way.
The "other town" is nice tho. And everyone is friendly and kind and very accepting of me. I would be happy there, I know, but it is just such a big decision. To leave this house that has so many memories and the feelings of love that dwells here from the past. But I know the Lord is going to see me thru this and give me strength and wisdom comcerning this. He always does.
So, here I go now. Leaving the comp to start packing some books. see you soon.

I'm A Winner!

I did it! I entered my first 5K yesterday and won third place in my age group! I did it!

Of course, 5K sounds so much longer and of the feeling of greater accomplishment than saying....3.2 miles.

But I did it!

I had a "co-walker" with me...a friend of the daughter....and he helped me and encouraged me. I really would have not finished if he had not been there. It is such a crazy thing. to be walking so hard and so fast as you can and look around and you are the last one in the group. and you think you are the last in the entire 230 that started the race. I wanted to quit because I was ashamed of being last...and then the friend told me that there are people behind me and in front of me that I can't see.

I also knew that if I quit, I would never hear the end of it from my kids and family. and I am just stubborn enough to not give up.

Guess that "stubborn" that I have always had finally paid off. that "stubbornness" that my husband always fussed at me about...but in the Bible, there is this story about the "persistent" woman going before the judge and her "persistance" won out. So I guess I am persistant instead of stubborn. ha ha.

It was kind of interesting. I used to walk four miles all the time when I lived in another town, but then I had knee operations, gained weight, and got older, and did not work out like I should and it all came down to my getting "partially, at least" back in shape.

I am on the way now! This race probably created a monster, as they say. I am encouraged to do more walking now and to learn to speed it up and grow stronger.

I did it! Such an accomplishment in my mind! At my age, to take on this aspect! Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to this place and for my health.

What I Learned while traveling in europe

Well, here I am. Home again.
What an exciting time I had in London and Paris!
What a wonderful thing it is was to have my "girls" with me there!

What did I learn?
I learned that the people over there are not nearly so "mean" as everyone here in the states says they are. In fact, everyone was exceedingly kind and helpful.
This was especially noted and appreciated in Paris. They were so patient with me when I tried to ask questions or directions to places. Everyone was so helpful and kind.
I learned that these people drive expensive cars. I learned that gas is higher there than it is here. And I learned that they walk EVERYWHERE. That is why they are so thin and why there are only small sizes in clothes when you shop for them. ha ha
I learned that there are sales in paris and london, if you can find them, just like there are here.

And I learned that I was able to walk much further than I thought I could and that I could tackle all those stairs we had to climb everywhere. I felt a real sense of accomplishment in accomplishing that. I feel I am ready now to set a goal toward more walking, etc. and look forward to my first ever 5K in July. It is exciting to me to be able to do that!!

I learned that my "girls" are patient with me and helpful to me. I learned, too, that they are fun to be with. (Of course, I knew this all the time, but even when we are in foreign lands, they are so loving and kind....and funny). It seemed that the giggling never stopped.

I learned many historical things also and I never cease to be amazed at how much more interesting this history is to me when I am in the area than when I am reading it out of a book in the states.

I learned, too, that this country has much for which to be thankful....the cleanliness, the courtesy of people (talking about the shoving), the right of way as pedestrians, the prices, and the beauty of america...I know that London and Paris was beautiful...and the buildings that were so very old were wonderful to see and to be amazed at, but nothing beats the United States for all of this and more.

It is always wonderful to travel but it is even more wonderful to return home.

Blessings

How do I begin this post? How can I remember all the blessings I have received? I am not talking about the everyday ones...the great health I am enjoying, the many new friends I am making, and the old friends too and their increased closeness to me, the love of my family. All of these go on endlessly, it seems. I can'thelp but wonder why God is so good to me, even in the trying times. I can only deduce from this happening is that He wants me to share with everyone else, in any way that I can.. His name is always there in every conversation.
I am even becoming "braver" and asking strangers around me if they know my Jesus and what has He done for you today. I get amazing responses and so many times, they witness to me and I rejoice because God has taught me that they might not have done it otherwise. You never know what God has ready for you to do for Him until you just follow the Holy Spirit. What can anyone do to me when I broach the subject except to walk away or not answer...I have no fear. And I have not had any responses to the negative.

How can I help but tell the wonderful things God has done, is doing, and will do for me?? He is amazing! And it is an exciting adventure to be used by Him.

The latest things that have happened in my life is that my granddaughter won a State pagaent. She is such a beautiful, calm, and poised young lady. I am sure she gets that from my side of the family. ha ha.
Actually, I think she did it on her own with God's leading. That's for sure.

Then she was presented with the dancer of the year award and I marvel at her abilities.
I know God has a special thing picked out for her to do with her life and I know she will use His guidance and wisdom. She is a joy to me and to all around her.

Another blessing I am receiving is that my "girl" family...my daughter, my daughter in law, and their daughters and I are going on a trip together. I love it, not only for the fun we will be having, but for the joy of "bonding" even more than we already are. It means so much more for me to have my family grow together nowadays...maybe it is because I am getting older, aren't we all? But it is simply a joyful blessing when I see them all so close and so caring for and about one another.

I can't help but think of what "bops" would say. I keep bringing him into these "posts"..I can't help it...he is still so very much a part of my thinking and of my life, that I truly rejoice in how happy he would be if he could see us now. His family so close together. His granddaughter winning titles, his grandson in college and doing well, his older granddaughter and her new husband already buying their first house, his daughter finally starting her own health and exercise place, his daughter in law and son doing so well up in the home and both of them staying busy and healthy, and, lastly....me. Oh, how happy he would be to see me working on my weight, walking everyday, and setting a goal of a walk in 5K in November. He would be beside himself. I'm just sorry I did not do this when he was here. But what am I saying...he is always here. I know now what people mean when they say that they will always be with you.
But what a joy it is! To be so loved and to be so blessed.

I thank you, Lord, for your goodness and love toward me. Can't help loving my Lord. He is here with me all the time and I rely on His strength and wisdom.

bye for now.

Flexibility is an Adventure

You never know what life is going to bring to you.
You can worry about it and IT may never happen. What a waste of time and energy.
You can watch for IT and then you miss the other wonderful things that are happening and taking place in your life and all around you.
You can plan for IT, in case IT comes along, and when IT doesn't, you are almost disappointed and feel the sense of loss of time wasted.

Or you can simply learn to take each day and each happening as it takes place and accept it. And remember to be flexible in your acceptance of the events.

It is so wonderful when you finally let this happen.
This is not to say "whatever" and give up when things happen that we did not accept...nor to let them bring us down...but to look at IT as a thing of wonderment from the Lord to help you grow....to help you realize that He is still in control...because when the "bad" comes, that is when we lean on the Lord the most. When the good things come, it is the time when we need to remember to praise our Lord, not just for that blessing but for the way He has brought us through to receive it.

Flexibility is a funny thing. It is so much easier to accept (what you think) are shortcomings in friends or people around you when you consider them with your new flexibility....or new eye-sight. When you realize everyone, including yourself, has faults but God loves them and made something special in each person, it makes you want to search for that special something and you forget about the problems you are having with them.

I remember many years ago, I was a director in our church VBS program and my helper in that department was a lady that I really did not know very well. Her team was "building" the Jewish temple for the study and she was doing a fantastically beautiful and precise building. I was amazed. But I also knew that she did a thing that really, truly annoyed me...she was NEVER on time. It irritated me to death. I really had to watch myself or I would almost lose my temper with her when she came in each day.
Then one day, after much prayer and thought, I realized a solution.
If I went every day and picked her up for VBS and brought her in my car, and if I went a little early to get her, she would arrive on time. Sounded like a perfect plan to me.about m
I did that the next day. I went by her house three days in a row, always arriving early so that we would not be late to class.
And each day, we were late. She just was always late. There was nothing I could do to change that.
So, I thought about it and began to pray for her.'
I knew that God loved her. He had made something good in her. I had to be flexible enough to look for the good thing that God had done in her and dwell on that.
I did pray. And I did search. And it happened.
I found the good in her. I praised the Lord for allowing me to be flexible and to bend to His leadings, not mine.
I found the good, but I must tell you, she was still ALWAYS late. But that was alright now because God had made her my friend through my prayers.
I have always heard ....pray for your enemies and they will become your friends. And it is true. It happened to me.

So now, when I think about my way being the only way, and my way always being right, I always remember that lesson that God taught me about flexibility. Open your mind and your heart, listen, and be aware of His lesson on flexibility and this adventure opens up all kinds of possiblities of praise and worship each minute of the day. It releases the joy of His plan working in you and not your plan taking over. It is easier to remember THE LORD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL when you remember to flex to His will and to His leading.

It is an excitement to be ready, to be flexible, and to live every day as an adventure with and for the Lord. He's got everything all planned out.

Birthdays and Chocolate

I have one of those birthdays coming up!
Dad Gum, I cannot figure out how the numbers got so high!
I look in the mirror as I pass by and I sometime wonder...who IS this white-haired woman I am looking at. And then I realize it is me!!

I never thought I would get this many years. I never really thought about it, actually.
I remember when I was nearing my 40th birthday, my daughter said that she would help me enjoy my birthday, even if she had to wheel me to the table in a wheelchair. haha

I don't really "feel" like that many years old, and most people comment how I don't Look that number but I think, secretly,they are lying and are being kind....of course, they tell me that on my good days. But I feel wonderful! And I feel like I am "wiser" and "smarter" about more things than I have ever been. I try to learn something new and I don't believe in being stagnant in your habits and your daily schedule. I like to be spontaneous. It's fun and it keeps you wondering what lies ahead. Of course, God is always my guide in these happenings and decisions. I am so glad He never leaves my side. I need Him.

Birthdays were always a big deal in my house when I was a kid growing up in Florida.
On your birthday, you could have any menu you chose for the supper meal and you didn't have to do anything..no chores...all day long. I don't really remember many of the presents but I do remember being able to pick what we had for dinner that night. Loved doing it. And I think I still have that love for planning what to eat. Woe is me on that basis.

And there was always a homemade birthday cake. My sis made the best cakes. And, of course, mine was always chocolate. Can't remember when I started eating chocolate and loving it so much; maybe it was when I was a baby and maybe they gave me chocolate milk to drink instead of white. I know I never cared for white milk when I was young...maybe that's why.

I remember the few times I would be able to buy my lunch in the cafeteria at school and I always tried to get the chocolate milk. Much to my regret, all the other kids loved it too and by the time I got to the milk selection, the chocolate was all gone. ha ha

Now my two kids are grown and it makes me feel older to tell their ages than it does mine.
Interestingly enough, though, is that the people I am hanging around with have the same age children and some even older. So I guess I have to look at those "old" people and know I am one of them.

But there is old and there is OLD. Man alive! I see some of the guys and gals that I graduated from school with and I wonder what happened to them. They are in such deep ruts...they don't even want to go a few extra (I'm talking 10 miles!) to try a new resturant, or they talk about the people they used to have dealings with and tell all the bad things about them (I think that is called gossip) and they complain about the food in the resturant, no matter where we are.
What in the world made them so negative and so OLD? I am not feeling superior to them by any means, but I feel sorry that they are missing so much joy in their lives by being so "shut off" and negative.

Life is to be lived in expectation of excitement and of something happening that brings us joy.....even when we have hard times or bad things happen.
It is supposed to be lived as though this is the last day of your life...lived to the fullest...with the most laughs...and the most love...and the wonderful positive things you can share with others.
This is what life is all about. And this is also a witness for my sweet Jesus...that's what He made us for...to talk with Him and to serve Him by helping to make someone else's life a little happier and thinking positive. It makes such a difference.

Pondering and Reminiscing

Pondering. That's a funny word to me. I know it means "thinking" but "pondering" is not such serious brain work as "thinking. Not to me anyway.
Pondering is a light-hearted kind of wondering. It is a thinking with a smirk or a laugh or two about the way your thoughts are going. It denotes a thoughtful wandering.

Now "reminiscing", I know, is the same as "remembering". But, for some reason, it does not mean the same thing to me at all. Remembering is...to remember to clean the cat box, to remember to read your bible daily....serious stuff.
But reminiscing is the fun stuff of memories. Of "pondering" things and happenings and events of the past. It is like rereading a journal you wrote on one of your vacation trips or of just sitting and sharing with a friend about the school days....or of recalling the family gatherings. The things that were not funny when they happened, like during a camping trip where you ran into deer ticks and it poured cats and dogs the whole weekend. Certainly not funny then, but hilarious now. Can't believe my husband wanted to do it the next year too. But I think he would have been alone.

That's what happens to me this time of year, every year. I start pondering and reminiscing...of so many things.

This time I have been thinking of my family. I guess because I have a birthday coming soon.
I think the older you get the more you think about these things.

There were six children in my family. Now there is only my sister Es and Me.
I never really knew my mom very well; she died when I was only seven years old. I went to live with one of my sisters F and my sister Es went to live with the oldest sister E.

I owe alot to my sis F for taking me in like that. It could not have been easy for her. She had gotten married to a soldier and they had a 3 month old baby and here comes this nine year girl...who was now going to live with them in the house they shared with her husband's mom and dad. My sis F was only 12 years older than me. I am not sure I could have done that. I am thankful for them, that is for sure.

I never got to see my sisters and brothers much because we all lived in different states...so far away...and there was not much money, but F and I talked about them all the time, sometime not so pleasantly. Family is like that.

I think the weirdest thing I remember from childhood is how, everytime I pulled a 'stubborn' or did a stupid thing, my sis F said...you're just like your sis E. Never did undrstand that because we were separated so early, but I just accepted that I was like sis E. Really wondered what it meant.

The first time my whole family (well, I can't say whole, because sis E would not leave the state where she lived) got together was when I turned 40 years old. Amazing! And we seemed to pick up the conversation where it had ended 33 years before. How do families do that? but it is a blessing.

The only time all four of us sisters got together was one time when I lived in south fla and they all came to my house for a week. I really felt sorry for my husband and I assure you he was not at home much. ha ha
Anyway, during that week, we all laughed, cried, pondered, and reminiced together all week.
Then one day, as I was sitting there, just enjoying being with MY SISTERS,...what a joy that was.....I began listening and eavesdropping .....and, do you know what I found out????

My sis Es was like my sis F and I was like my sis E.
I cooked like her, liked the same songs, the same movies, liked the same foods....and, believe it or not, she and I are the only sisters in the family that are prone to fainting. Isn't that weird? Guess F was right.

So, my prayer is that my two kids will take the time when they get older to ponder and reminisce about their happenings during there times together.

To me, this is what makes family so precious....those special "bonding" times that nothing can erase or take away from us....those special times....serious and catastrophic at the time....but now are funny and are to be talked about, shared, and laughed over. What a blessing!

Thank you, Lord, for the memories. Some of them are learning times from You, some of them are things that we have to turn loose of and forgive and forget, some of them are just plain dumb, and some of them are brilliant times we've shared together.

But all of them are wonderful.

Another lesson learned

Hey everyone,
Cannot believe what I did the other day....Life really is a learning thing....but, my word, how easily I slip into the dumb, forgetful part. ha ha
I had typed the funniest "blog" yet, pulled it up to read it in the final printing, and sent it, I thought, but, instead I erased it. Crazy!
But you would have enjoyed it.
I enjoyed writing it and laughing as I composed it.
Oh, well, such is life.

But it was partly about my cat. That sweet loving creature that has completely trained me to do his every wish and to be his constant companion.

The event took place last week when I had some friends over for supper at my house. We had a wonderful time and laughed so much together that our ribs were sore. It was a good night.
They left about 8:30 in the evening, and I forgot to close the heavy front door. I have that solar film on the glass door and it reflects at night like a mirror.
Anyway, I was sitting in the tv room when I heard this terrible cat "yowl" coming from the living room. Now you have to remember that my cat is very quiet and docile and has a peaceful personality about him. He doesn't even "mew". He hisses like a vampire instead and I realize now that I should have named him Dracula instead of Thomas.
Anyway, back to my story.
After hearing that yowl three times, I went in to see what all the commotion was about.
There is a big black snake that lives in the bushes in the front of my house and I was afraid he had gotten into the house and he was scaring the cat. That was scaring me too.
I went to the door and there was Thomas...with his back arched as only a frenzied cat who is going to attack can do, and starring out the front glass door.
Then I realized he was looking at himself in the reflection. I understood the feeling completely, maybe that is why we get along so well, somedays I don't like the way I look either.
I picked him up, closed the door, and soothed his feelings.
Then we went back to the tv room and he did not leave my side the rest of the evening.
Now I know where they get that expression....Scaredy cat.

I have been busy this week. It is raining a lot now and it is difficult to get the walking in so I have been using the treadmill. It feels good to be home but I miss the townhome and my new friends down there too.
I have reached out more to my friends here than I had in the past and it makes a difference in my energy. I have been going more with them and calling them more often on the telephone.
You truly have to keep in close touch with these people that are so important in your life.

I have missed my daughter and her family too. Seemed so nice to just drop over to her house or have her come by my place. I could get used to that, but I would also miss the place here. What to do????
But it will all work itself out, I know. In God's time, that's for sure. Just have to stay so tuned to Him that I know when that is. He already has it all planned out. Exciting to see what will happen, when it will happen, and how He will use me for His purpose. It's so good to know He is always there.

Am going to get to be with my family from NC this weekend, minus a son, but I will enjoy being with them. Everytime I am with any member of my family, I truly count it as a blessing. I guess part of that is coming from my getting older and more appreciative of the love I receive from all of them...and the joy they bring me.

Funny! When I start these "posts" and get into them, it seems I always come around to my family and to my Lord. Guess, when I think about it, that is where my heart and my love lies,
those are the important things in my life.

Life changes, and I have learned so much, and I continue to learn new things....but most of all, I have learned to love my family more each day and I praise the Lord for all of them.

Life goes on

What a beautiful morning it is! Did some walking and am now back home with my cat.That cat of mine is so funny! I would say"unique". So well-trained, never gets on the furniture unless invited, is very clean, and is very loving to me, and to anyone else that comes into the house.
Last night I had some friends over for dinner and forgot to close the heavy front door, so the glass door with reflective solar film was visible and it was dark outside.
All of a sudden, I heard this terrible cat "yowl"!
Now you have to understand that my cat is very quiet. He hardly even mews. He kind of "hisses" like he has a bad throat, but he doesn't. He should have been named Dracula, ha ha. Well, anyway, he let out three of those terrible yowls and I went to see what on earth had scared him so badly. He is such a "scardy cat" anyway...and there is a black snake that likes to live in the bushes in the front of my house and I thought, horror of horrors, that maybe that snake was in the house. Then I would do the "yowling", that is for sure.
When I got to the front door, there was my cat....back arched like only cats can do when they are defensive or in "fighting mode"....starring at himself in the reflective glass. He was looking at himself. So funny! Guess he didn't like what he saw. I know that feeling. ha ha
I finally had to pick him up, give him some loving, soothe him down and take him into the tv room with me. He did not leave my side the rest of the evening. What a guard cat he is!
The same thing happened in my townhome when we were down there last time.
At 2 AM one morning, he came running into the bedroom, yowling, and I went to see what was the problem. He took me back to the door area that scared him, and smelled the area and kept looking at me., his protector.
I told him to come back to bed, I was not going to open the door to see what was out there. He just mewed as if he agreed and followed me to bed and snuggled closely.
So I guess I have a Guard Cat. What a sweetie he is! But how funny, too.

I have been taking pictures this morning to share them with my granddaughter from NC when I see her this weekend. She and her husband are in the process of buying a house and it is a huge place that will need lots of furniture to fill it. Perfect timing!
It just so happens that I am in the process of moving to another city to be closer to my daughter and her family (heaven knows when that fulltime move will take place though) and I have furniture and stuff I will not need. I am truly "downsizing". This when you find out or face the fact, that you have lots of "stuff".
As I took the pictures today, it brought back so many memories.
I know I am going to have to fight these feelings until the move is final.
I am so happy that our belongings will go to J and D....Their grandpa would love it.
And I am happy about it too. Because part of him is there with them. And when I visit them, I will see those memories again and again.
Not sad memories but funny ones of how those possessions came to us. The thoughts that go with all of them. so many. And I cherish each one.
But when I give (finally) all of these things to J and D, I will not be concerned for their care for the "stuff". I know they will care for it properly and they will remember Bops too. That is all I ask.....the memories for the family and the closeness and bonding of our "group". That is what family is all about. Loving, sharing, and doing for each other. I praise God for all He has done to keep this family together and loving each other so closely.
God is good, isn't he? All the time!
Well, back to the picture taking. see you!

Being a Mom

I was so fortunate this past weekend to be able to be with one of my children on Mother's Day.....My daughter. Surely did miss my son, though.
What a treat that would have been to have them both there with me.

What is it that brings that longing for your children out in moms on Mother's day? Is it because we want everyone to see what wonderful children we have been blessed with? Partly. I think that it is just a good excuse to be with your family. A good reason to remember to praise the Lord for them. To remember how much He has blessed you.

I sometime say to my daughter that I have been so blessed to have such wonderful children and their families and she says to me....so if moms have children with problems or with health problems, they are not blessed??? And I assure her that is not what I meant. We, as moms, are all blessed in different ways. I just praise the Lord for the family that He gave to me.

It was a wonderful day. In fact, I spent the whole week at my new "part time"home in lp, and I enjoyed it very much. It's still a little frightening. A complete new world. But God is opening it up to me, bringing me new friends and new ideas, new areas for growth.

I could not help but sit in church and think back over the years to the memories of other Mother Days that I had. Wonderful ones. Wonderful memories. Funny memories.
The times that the children would cook breakfast for me and serve it to me in bed. I had to remember to stay in bed so that they could do that. The foods that they served me...burnt toast, REALLY crisp bacon, hard-fried eggs, orange juice with roughage of seeds in it, strong coffee, and always a flower in a vase on the tray.
And it was all delicious. I had to eat every bit of it. What a treat. What a show of love from them. What a wonderful blessing.

And the presents they gave me....the ones that were "home made". The things that they had purchased themselves...the ones they had thought of for me....the love they showed me...their own handmade cards. The love. Always made me cry. And it still does.

I especially remember one mom's day when my son gave me a rubber snake. I was a little surprised. I remember how his dad kind of chewed him out because that was not a gift you gave to your mom on her day. but I cherished that snake. I knew when he gave it to me that it was because he thought of me as his friend, not just his mom. I can not tell you how many places that snake showed up. In the dresser, under clothes, hiding....in a box in the garage when I was looking for something.....hanging down a little bit from a high shelf in the garage....in the washing machine when I put in a load of wash....and one time under the covers of the bed when I pulled back my blanket one night....that one almost did me in.

But we had fun with it. and, would you believe, the snake was finally used in the garden, where I had planted squash and tomatoes?? It kept the birds and rabbits away. Worked wonderfully.

I guess the memories all kind of jumble together in my heart and mind and they all blend as a wonderful time in my life. A time that was full of love, laughter, and screams and shrieks, but a bunch of wonderfully funny memories that I will cherish as long as I live.

As I listen to these "younger" moms now, it is a whole new way of life that I am seeing in them...a new era...a new way of raising children....new ideas...wonderful new ways to educate them while they are still so young and are like little sponges and soak up every word that mom says to them....new improvements on the ideas we used in the "earlier"days when we were young moms. I truly admire these ladies that I see. So many of them work outside the home, and some of them are single moms....man, my hat goes off to all of them....and yet they are raising those sweet little children with every bit of the love, and the patience, and the energy, that God supplies to them. He is truly blessing them and they are leaning on Him. They are raising the Christian Leaders of the future. Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord for all the moms who let the Lord guide and use them. Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have given to me.

Close Friends through the Years

So much new has been happening in my life lately that is so very wonderful.

Making new friends here in LW, having coffee with them, giggling, and maybe making a new male friend. First male friend..he wants to have lunch with me...so it is not a group thing like I am usually involved in. A new experience. But just a friend. We talk often on the phone and it is forming a friendship between us.

Walking daily with another friend and she has become very dear to me. She's such a special lady with a wide world of interests and knowledge and I can never quite understand what she sees in me. But she says I always raise her spirits. She certainly raises mine.

Going to friends' family reunions and meeting their families; that means so much to me.... for them to love me that much to include me in their family reunions.

Making new friends in the new home place of LP. Being introduced to everyone by my daughter and knowing by the way that she is received that they love and respect her, so that gives me respect from them before they even know me. It certainly paves the way for new friends. Welcomed so lovingly. Thrills me to see the reaction people give to her and to her children.

Then seeing my old friends from school that I went to,,,, in the small town only five miles from here. Friends that I have known from the fourth grade. They know me and still love me and call me often. How wonderful that is.

Then to be loved by all my church friends. You know that they have seen you through all the changes that have happened in your life, all the sad things and the great joys, the ups and the downs....and we are still there praying for each other daily.

It's almost too unbelievable to have this much love and caring in your life. You would think that this could, and would, possibly make you "proud" but it is completely the opposite. I feel so very humbled to be loved this much. I really don't know why they love me.

The only answer is that they are truly gifts from God. Their kindness, their caring, their sympathy, their empathy, their love....have been gifts from God. And, so, in return, it opens up my heart to others that I meet. To total strangers, who may never be friends of mine, but people who I know need someone to say hello to them, to smile at them, and to wish them a happy day, to cause them to laugh with me. This is what it is all about. Passing love around that God has so freely given to us.

It makes your day complete. You feel like you have represented God's love in such a simple way....just by being a friend to others...the way people are being friends to you.

I challange you to speak to someone the next time you are waiting in a line to check out and, in some way, ask them how they are or if they know "your" Jesus, and then share something wonderful He has done for you recently....something you could not have gotten through without His help. When I do that, nine times out of ten, THEY are the ones witnessing to me before it is over with.,,,something that they would not have done if you had not opened the door for them to do it. It always amazes me! It's another "God Gift".

Strawberry Pancakes

Since I am thinking about strawberry pancakes today, I will do the blog in red. Brilliant idea, eh?

Anyway, I was at Ihop this morning and had strawberry pancakes for breakfast.

Now I don't have those very often, because I know they are so bad for you...but so good to you..and it makes me think, everytime I have them, of the very first time I ever ate them.
And I think of it every single time...isn't that weird??

Anyway, a long time ago, when my children were VERY young, I caught pneumonia and had to stay away from all my family. I could not touch them at all. I could not even get out of my bedroom except to go to the bathroom. I could not cook for them, of course, could not touch them in any way. I was a new mother and I just lay in the bed and cried because I missed hugging them so much.

My son was probably about eight or nine and he did the cooking. I would tell him exactly what to do and it all turned out fine. I am not sure, to this date, how that happened, and maybe that is why he enjoys cooking today. I don't know.
But anyway, I was in that room for three weeks.

And I said, if, and when I got well, I wanted some strawberry pancakes. Isn't that crazy? How your mind works when you are "deprived". Maybe I was in one of those "feverish, delirious"days, anyway, that is all I wanted when I got well enough to go out to a resturant and eat out....strawberry pancakes.

Finally, the day arrived. I was stronger. I could go out again.

And my husband took the kids and me to Ihop for STRAWBERRY PANCAKES. I was so excited.

Now you have to remember that we did not have much money in those days. We hardly ever ate out. For him to take us for pancakes was a big deal.

I ordered the STRAWBERRY PANCAKES. I waited anxiously for them to arrive. I had DREAMED about them for three weeks. my mouth was watering.

Then the waitress arrived with them. Joy of joys!

The strawberries were CANNED! Can you believe that? CANNED!!!

I almost cried. They were just such a disappointment that I just crumbled.

Isn't it funny, tho, what we get set in our minds....our funny goals...it was for me to get well enough after that horrible pneumonia to want such a trivial thing. set all of my will and thoughts on that one thing. And it happened and it was a huge disappointment.

Guess that is what happens in our everyday goal-setting sometime. We set our minds and hearts on such umimportant things, and then when it happens, it is disappointing. Everytime I think of this story, it helps set my priorities straight...on the things they shoudd be. It keeps everything more in line with God's goals and wants, not mine.

But I know that God's goal, and He reached it, was for me to get well....and to have those strawberry pancakes, so that He could teach me this lesson.

Guess that is it for today. Just thoughts I wanted to share with you....my silly lessons learned in life...and I am still learning.

What is going on today?

Well, here it is..Monday. A new week beginning.
A chance to try again to accomplish those things that did not get done last week. The ones you say every week you are going to do and, somehow, they don't get done.

But this is the week! yes!

I already have a good start!

I walked farther today than I have walked in quite a while...and it was good. I went to the lake trail early so there would not be any excuse for me not to do it. And I walked for 45 min and then when my friend got there, I did 30 more with her. Of course, there was a break in there because I had to wait for her, but that's ok. I did it!

Am going to do it every day this week!

Stopped and talked with a man on the trail today that was riding the weirdest "bike"(?) that I have ever seen. It was a three-wheeler, no seat, just a place for each foot on top of the wheels, a front wheel, and handlebars. You stood up on it and weaved (not a straight ride) back and forth with your body energy. He said it is a complete body workout. Only weighs about 30 lbs. Looked very interesting. He said it comes with a small motor if you want it to go up hills.

So, anyway, this week I am staying close to the house and trying to do some odd jobs. Can't believe how those "corners" get filled so quickly. I think that stuff "breeds" when you put it in a corner. ha ha

It is already looking like a great day. The weather here is wonderful. Got a little warm yesterday but the mornings are wonderful. Truly like springtime....wish it was like this all the time.

Take care and stay well.

Saturday...a new day

Today is Saturday. A day to be lazy...or to walk more than usual....or to sleep in a little later...or to sit and ponder life in general.

I did try to sleep in but my cat had other ideas...his dish was empty of food and he kept "massaging" me with his paws until I gave up and got up. That is always so funny when he does that. Only when his dish is empty tho. Then, of course, he has to do his "morning patrol" of the patio area to "reclaim" his territory and then he settles down for the morning nap in the sunshine under the dining room window, in the place where the carpet is the thickest. Brother! Does he have it made or not? But he's a good companion, so I let him think he rules the roost. ha ha...yeah, right.

It's a beautiful day. I have not had a quiet day like this in awhile and it seems nice, like it is in a different world, no hustle and bustle and no special plan for the day. Relaxed.

The perfect time to call some of my dearest friends and catch up on their lives and make dates with them for the coming week. Found out some things to pray about with each of them, and let them know what my prayer needs were in return. Had a chance to bring them up to date on what is happening to me. It is all good. But we also get lots of laughs at the conversations.

Funny things happen in our lives. Sometime we do not really think they are funny or humorous until we look back at them and "ponder" them or until we share them with a close friend. That's when the giggles break out. and it feels good.

It feels good to share "funnies" with someone...almost like a ministry that God has brought to you to bless your life and to open your eyes as to why those "things"happened. It is to brighten someone's day and lift their spirits; it is to let them know that everything that happens, be it good or bad, is still in God's plan; it is to encourage them to rejoice in all things; it is to help them to know they should share their "happenings" with someone else...to brighten their day or to share a need that you have. Sometime sharing your need helps them get their minds and thoughts off of their needs and onto something else and they know they are needed.
we are all needed, but sometime we forget that...and we stay inside ourselves...and we forget to open up our hearts and feelings to those around us. We become hermits and hide.

That's no good. God gave us all the friends...and new acquaintances...so that we could have companionship....and so that we could praise Him for all He brings to us....for the way He grows us and uses us when we are not even conscious of it.

So now you know what my Saturday has been like. A lazy day, but a "be thankful to the Lord" day. and I praise Him for it and the joy it has brought me.

Life is good!

It has been a few days since I have had a chance to write. I have really missed it. I just have GOT to get a computer for the new home. That is all there is to it.

So I am expecting my son to tell me what to get so that I will get the right one. I don't think I want a lap top, but right now I don't have a desk to put a comp and all the stuff that goes with it. I really miss not doing the blog and all the other stuff that I do on the comp.

I could use the one at the complex but I want the privacy of my own home when I do it. Help me out, Son, please.

I thought I would be bored and have lots of time on my hands when I was in the new home....just down for those few days each week....but that ain't the way it is. Man! Do I stay busy! I really have to come home to get some rest. I've never been connected with so many "older"people in a church that do so many things. They lead exciting lives...busy with the Lord.

These friends in the old home are not as vivacious and energetic as the new ones in the new home. It is amazing at the places they go and the things they do. Never a dull moment.

I am making lots of new friends, now if I could just remember all their names, but I am learning some of them. And the neighbor right across the street is a widow, so we have kind of struck it up nicely together. She even went to breakfast with me and a bunch of the church ladies. By the way, we meet at the TRUCK STOP. That is so funny. When I tell my friends here about that, I have to explain that it is the only place in town that has breakfast. But it is very enjoyable, and we have nice togetherness, sharing, and devotion.

I take my cat with me when I go to the new place and he absolutely loves the house. he is even getting really good at traveling in his cage back and forth from town to town.

It's all so new to me. It is much easier than I ever dreamed it would be. Each time I go down, i take a suitcase of clothes with me and leave them. The first thing you know I will not have the right clothes to wear here at this house. That would be a hoot, wouldn't it?

It is a joy to be so close to my daughter and her family. Really am enjoying being with them so easily and so "impromtu". No biggee thing, but ever present and able to do it. Seems nice. A blessing.

It is still a learning experience for me. I am having to get out of my "comfort zone" and reach out to people around me, but they have been very accepting of me, and it always amazes me. I am truly blessed.

I go to the new place for 2-3 days at the time, and try to get things accomplished. Then I come back home and wonder what else I should take down there without messing up the look of my home here. There is no hurry and I feel great in knowing that and feeling no pressure.

Actually, the bed down there is in much better shape than the bed I have at home here and it makes me wonder if I should buy a new set for here, but then I think about the money and wonder if it would be the thing to do. Have to pray about it.

That's what all this boils down to, isn't it? Praying about it. About the new friends, about the move (when it happens), about what to take down there and what to leave here, the friends I am making and the friends I am leaving behind, my life in general. I know you don't really leave friends behind but I know, too, that I will not see them so often as I do now. I really know that they will not often come down to see me at the new place...after all it is an hour's drive away. But I know that God is in control and I praise Him for what He is going to bring into my life, here and there. I am thanking Him in advance for the growth and the adventures He is going to bring my way, the way He has already planned my life and I just have to have faith and open up the doors for what He is planning for me. It is an exciting time.

But I still need your prayers. Love, me

Hello to all

It has been a few days since I had a computer available to write the blog..and I missed it.
Have been down to the new house. Interesting. Enjoyed myself. But weird, a little bit. I don't really belong yet. It is all still strange to me.

Am meeting nice people and making some new friends, but it is almost too much to adjust to.
I miss the friends here in town and now I have this feeling of not belonging in either place.

I knew this would happen. It happened last time that I bought a second place to stay in. Always very enjoyable but the same feelings come over me that did this time too. I don't know how to remedy it except to continue to live in each area as though I lived in both places full time.
But it makes me feel in limbo...as if I am not a complete person in either place...as though it is an act and I can't put it all together. Sounds crazy but it is weird.

There is no reason for this. My daughter and her family were there for me and encouraged me. My cat was with me.

It was funny to watch him. He loved the place but he could not settle down to take his long naps like he does in the first home and so he came home tired, like me.

I guess it is just a matter of working things out in my mind and settling things like that.
In a sense, enjoying the best of both worlds, so to speak, and find my place in them both.
I know the Lord is working this out. I'm leaning on you again, Lord, to show me the way.

Life passes on

LIFE PASSES ON..... it does but it is not passing me by. It is a full life..a happy life...an exciting life...if you let the Lord lead that life and follow what He has planned for you.

Here it is..Easter weekend...Grand daughter's sixteenth birthday. How time does fly! That is for sure. When you look back and remember her as a precious baby fitting in your arms, it seems impossible that she is now able to drive a car on her own. Wow! Does that make ME older, too?

I am so proud of her...of all three of my grand children, of course...they are truly a blessing in my life. The sixteen year old has confidence that I wish that I had had when I was that age, she has manners and patience that is amazing in one so young. She is growing up to be a wonderful, flexible, fulfilled young lady. I am truly proud of her, and Bops would be too. He would be beaming, wouldn't he?

Easter..... can't help but think of the reason for it...it was such a wonderful time...when Jesus arose. And it makes me think of the change of seasons, the greening of the grass, the flowers that will color the scenery, and the fruits that will come with the summer. It is a new, wonderful, time...a time for us to bring ourselves back into the beautiful life that is waiting for us, for the adventures God has planned for us. A time to look forward to tomorrow, no matter what it will bring, to remember that our Lord is always there near us and never leaves us alone, that He has a plan for us and we just have to do it. What a wonder that is!

As I pack a few things and get ready to move them down to the townhome, it brings back such memories. Memories of how I received each piece I am packing ..who gave it to me...where it happpened..and the memory that goes with it. Wonderful to remember these things. They are all good ones. I am sure they are much more precious to me, because of the memories they hold, than they would be to anyone else, even my family.


I am going to have to begin getting those out of my mind, because someday I will be selling those at an estate sale. Some of it will go to grandchildren, I am sure, and some to family but they just do not have the same feeling for them that I have, they couldn't possibly. It feels like I am finding a "good home" for belongings...like you would for a puppy or a kitten. Funny how we get atttached to "things", but it happens.

So this is another "phase" I am going into. Had to go through one when the children grew up and left home, when they got married, when we moved to another town, when I lost my husband, the "phases" go on and on....but they are all good. And I have learned from all of them. Thank you, Lord, for guiding me through them...for family to support me...for friends that are strong and stand by me. And thank you for the love they have shown me.

See you later, Irene

Another new phase

How many phases can there be to a life?

I remember when my kids were younger and they would be causing problems or doing something that it was difficult to correct (it did not happen very often), and I would ask my mom in law for advice, and she would say, "it's just a phase they are going through, they will outgrow it", And they did. It always worked itself out. But those phases are difficult to understand, aren't they?

My son wanted me to start this blog so that, if someone was reading it, with the same "phase" that it might be of some small help to them. It certainly helps me simply to write it out on the computer and read it when I have finished. It is almost like talking it over with someone.

The phase....the thing that I have not wanted to ever have to go through or even to face.
Today a friend asked me out for lunch..or to eat out sometime. It is the first time it has happened since my husband's death six years ago. And tomorrow is his anniversary with the Lord. I never wanted it to happen....this new phase....this call for concern.

I truly feel very complimented. But my husband and Iwere so very close that I feel like I am "two-timing" him. Isn't that silly??? I know in my heart, he would be happy for me. I know he would encourage me to "spread my wings" and continue to grow and enjoy life. He would say...go, buddyrow. that was his favorite name for everyone.

I guess that I have been thinking so hard about and preparing for the future, to be able to get everything correct in my decisions concerning money, goals, etc. that this invitation makes me put more meaning into it than is necessary.

It is JUST a lunch date, for heaven's sake. But I wonder would, or could, that lead to something else? I think that is the part I am afraid of...I still love my husband so much...but I have to turn loose. Shoot, he probably would have been married again by now. I know all those women would be cooking for him and inviting him over. that's for sure.

So, I guess, as usual, it is going to have to be up to the Lord to show me the way. We always think we should give God our BIG problems and we can solve the small ones, but He says He should make all the decisions in our lives once we give our life to Him. When we solve those small ones on our own is when we get into trouble, and then they turn into the BIG ones.

So, Lord, here we go. I am trusting you. I know that You will make very clear to me what I am supposed to do in this "phase". I thank you in advance. see you later