Another new phase

How many phases can there be to a life?

I remember when my kids were younger and they would be causing problems or doing something that it was difficult to correct (it did not happen very often), and I would ask my mom in law for advice, and she would say, "it's just a phase they are going through, they will outgrow it", And they did. It always worked itself out. But those phases are difficult to understand, aren't they?

My son wanted me to start this blog so that, if someone was reading it, with the same "phase" that it might be of some small help to them. It certainly helps me simply to write it out on the computer and read it when I have finished. It is almost like talking it over with someone.

The phase....the thing that I have not wanted to ever have to go through or even to face.
Today a friend asked me out for lunch..or to eat out sometime. It is the first time it has happened since my husband's death six years ago. And tomorrow is his anniversary with the Lord. I never wanted it to happen....this new phase....this call for concern.

I truly feel very complimented. But my husband and Iwere so very close that I feel like I am "two-timing" him. Isn't that silly??? I know in my heart, he would be happy for me. I know he would encourage me to "spread my wings" and continue to grow and enjoy life. He would say...go, buddyrow. that was his favorite name for everyone.

I guess that I have been thinking so hard about and preparing for the future, to be able to get everything correct in my decisions concerning money, goals, etc. that this invitation makes me put more meaning into it than is necessary.

It is JUST a lunch date, for heaven's sake. But I wonder would, or could, that lead to something else? I think that is the part I am afraid of...I still love my husband so much...but I have to turn loose. Shoot, he probably would have been married again by now. I know all those women would be cooking for him and inviting him over. that's for sure.

So, I guess, as usual, it is going to have to be up to the Lord to show me the way. We always think we should give God our BIG problems and we can solve the small ones, but He says He should make all the decisions in our lives once we give our life to Him. When we solve those small ones on our own is when we get into trouble, and then they turn into the BIG ones.

So, Lord, here we go. I am trusting you. I know that You will make very clear to me what I am supposed to do in this "phase". I thank you in advance. see you later