A Trip to Yesterdays

I went to see my sister in another town yesterday. I took a dear friend of mine along. The friend is one I have had since the fourth grade in school, so we know each other very well and still love each other, even after all this time.

Anyway, back to the trip.

It was almost 80 miles to her house and the traffic was so very slow. I guess everyone is really conscious of the tickets that the police seem to be giving out so readily nowadays. It seemed like it took forever to get there.


When we walked in the door, it was so wonderful to be lovingly greeted and hugged so warmly by both my brother in law and my sister. Bless her heart! She smiles all the time and B said that she is happy all the time. She sleeps alot. And, of course, he has to keep up with her meds, etc. but all is going well. I know it is difficult for him to care for her, not the "caring" part, but the part where she doesn't remember like she used to and does not hold conversations anymore. It is sad, but B is taking it all in stride and in a few weeks, they will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. Their four children surprised them around Mother's Day, did not tell the parents they were coming for a visit, and when B and my sister went outside to get the morning paper, they came back into the house and saw all their kids and their spouses sitting in the living room. Wasn't that wonderful??

My sister has dementia.... I hsve been thinking about this...and I have always heard that those people having this problem remember the PAST and those were the good years for them. Of course, they have ALL been good, I know that, but the first years of marriage are always the ones we remininsce about so often...when we did not have much more than each other....when eating out meant to cook hamburgers in the back yard, that sort of thing...but precious memories, all of them, even the truly hard times.

B was starting a project. He had five huge packing crates of family pictures and he was beginning to go through them and make separate piles for each member of the family. He had one started for me. I brought them home with me.
Then he pulled out an album and we talked and shared memories while we looked at pictures of my siblings, so long ago, and of my parents.

I had not looked at a picture of my parents in a while, and it truly shocked me when I saw my mom. I could not believe how much I look like her...the hair, the body...so much that it is amazing. So I am framing a picture of my mom and dad, and putting it on a table.

I know that everyone that sees it will say how much I look like her. To me that is a blessing. I lost my mom so early in life but I still miss her so much...so often wonder what she would think of her "baby girl" now. I hope she would be proud.

Somehow, it makes me feel more loved...to feel closer to her....to remember how much she loved me, eventhough I was only seven years old when she died, I still can remember her so well, even though there are not many memories, they are all precious to me.

So the trip yesterday was well worth it. To see my sis, whom I don't know how much longer she will remember me, to see the love that her husband shows to her and the tender care he gives her, to share the family memories, and to have had time with one of my best friends.

It was wonderful, it was all worth the time it took, and it is another bunch of memories that I will reminence over some day.

When they vowed "for better or worse, sickness or health", they meant it. Bless their hearts! Truly makes me appreciate them even more. I would ask everyone to add them to your prayer lists. thank you.