The Big Decision

I have already sent this news to everyone in the family....and I have told my closest friends in the LW and the BP area....but I feel I need to write about this.
It is therapy for me.

Man, I can remember all the vacation trips we have taken over the years, and I always kept a written diary of them. I often wondered why. But it was fun.

Now I look back over those diaries and I can laugh. Everyone that reads them laughs with me.

I can always tell when I was on a diet or into an exercise mode, or whatever was happening in our lives at that time. I have it all written down.

I never really thought anyone else would have any interest in the rambling thoughts I had, but now I realize that even in such a crazy thing as writing about a trip, my family (now they read them from time to time) and the family that comes after them, will know a little about what Irene was like.....what dad was like....and the funny things that happened in our lives.

I'm glad I wrote them,

I think back to when dad was so sick. I kept a diary the whole time it was happening. I kept notes on his doctor's visits and what we learned each time..even to what his temperature was on that day. I kept track of his visits to the hospital and a record of his meds and even his meals and how much he ate each day. It helped the hospice nurse and I felt like I was doing everything I could to make it easier for both of us to work together. Dad knew how much I cared.


I wrote in the diary every night during his illness, after he went to bed, and I was alone, with my thoughts, my fears, my sadness, and with my Lord.

The writing gave me such a release that I did not know it was doing.
And, everytime I closed it for that episode on paper, not realizing it, I signed it...thank you, Lord, amen.

I had not realized I was writing my prayers down.

Now I am doing it again. Only this time it is on the computer. Saves a lot of time instead of writing it on paper and it can be read by any family member that wants to know what is happening now in my heart and in my life...what the Lord is leading me through now. How He is working in my life to bring about the plans He has for me.

In fact, I see only one set of footprints in the sand right now. He is good.

I put my house on the real estate market yesterday. I signed the papers that will enable someone else to buy this gift that my husband bought me, where we shared memories, where we lived together and where we argued (we were normal), where we shared good news and bad news, and where we loved each other very much.

I know he would want me to do this....to put it up for sale.

In fact, when we left db to go vb, he suggested I go to all the neighbors and tell them the price we were asking and tell them we would go 5000 cheaper if they bought it from us before we connected with a realtor. One lady told us she had just purchased a house for her daughter nearby and wished she had gotten mine instead.
after we got the realtor, she bought it and then wanted us to go down the same 5 anyway, and we did, so that we could make the move.

So, if he were here in bp, he would probably have me do that again. wasn't he a hoot? I just think that he thought there was not anything that he asked me to do that I could not do. He had so much confidence in me, I know that now, but I always had the impression that I was always being trained, ha ha...maybe he was just "guiding me" and that is what a husband should do.

Anyway, the house is up for sale. Signed the papers yesterday and got a phone call last night from the neighbor next door up there...they said a sign was already stuck on the lawn. I think the realtor that is handling it is excited about the property.
Whoever gets it will have a wonderful place.

When we bought that house, a Christian family sold it to us...we talked about Jesus alot while we had our dealings.

Now I am praying that a Christian will buy it....one with a family...or the planning of one....someone that will use the house for the togetherness of fellow christians...that God will thrive there....that they will be good neighbors and that they will be received as good neighbors.

The Lord has been with me so much since dad went away, that I know God is in this too.

When I called two of the strongest christian men in my life to suggest a realtor to me, both said, unbeknownst to each other, the same woman, and she lives on the street next to me...and she's a christian.

This is not an easy decision. It is tearing at my heart. But when I go back to bp now, the house seems empty and big...and I am getting involved in lp.
I am meeting many new people..and getting into new things and activities. I am so lovingly accepted, that I know God is still working on me and with me, and leading me down here.

So I am asking for your prayers for this to go smoothly and for my strength to do the necessary things I need to do...to get rid of many of my belongings and to know who to give them to. God has blessed me and I certainly can't"outbless" Him, but that is what He expects me to do with those things...to give them as He gave them to me.

After all, nothing is mine anyway. It all belongs to God and He is just letting me use it. Thank you Lord for your generosity and love.